How to get the most out of Social Networking

I've been working on a blog post about "Playing to Your Strengths" for the past two months and for the first time am re-thinking it.  This was going to be my best post ever, about a topic that rarely has light shed on it, but now it may be undermined by a recent experience.  I am not much of a small talker and as a result I'm not naturally inclined to seek out networking opportunities (ie. cocktail parties, chamber of commerce meetings, mixers, etc.).  In fact, I get a bit nervous and very apprehensive as those events approach, even to the point of passing on them at the last minute.  The premise of my "Playing to Your Strengths" blog was that we should identify our strengths and weaknesses and arrange our careers so we can take advantage of those strengths and delegate our weaknesses, which will lead to exponentially greater productivity and effectiveness, not to mention happiness.  And while I still whole-heartedly believe that as successful professionals we need to exploit our natural abilities and gravitate toward the activities that we enjoy, I've learned that we can't use the "Playing to Our Strengths" strategy as an excuse to remain within the reassuring confines of our comfort zones.

My comfort zone is one where I work myself to death and rely only upon my own talents to get me places, because I'd rather do that than force myself to step away from the computer and meet a few people every now and then.  Netorking expert and author of "It's Who Knows You: Networking Your Way to Success", Chien Wang, would call this the "Gun-slinger" approach.  Everyone knows that this is a terrible long-term strategy, but it has worked thus far and like they always say ‘If it ain't broke don't fix it' (One of my least favorite sayings, yet even I find it convenient at times).  Despite that terrible habit, I recently found myself inadvertently bridging the gap between online social networking and traditional face-to-face relationship building.  I followed my own advice and worked my friend network, web 2.0 options and my online social networks, which all finally translated into a very valuable face-to-face meeting, otherwise known as a party. 

Here's how the story went:  As you know, I'm partnering with top business authorities to create Careers Without Limits for Educators and am always on the lookout for the brightest and most engaging experts in the country.  I was stalled in my progress a couple months ago and reached out to a few friends for potential candidates that they may have read, know of, or know personally.  This was a monumental step for me just to ask for help from a few friends, which should tell you just how averse to networking I have been in my life.  One friend wrote back with a recommendation and said he'd try to find some sort of contact info, be that direct or indirect.  Sadly, he wasn't able to find anything and I never heard back, so I took to the social web to try to track this guy down.  I Googled him and found that he writes a blog, which I then subscribed to so I could learn a bit more about him (BTW, you should subscribe to this blog now... if you know what's good for you!).  Then I looked him up on LinkedIn.com and learned a bit more.  And as luck would have it, a few weeks later he just so happened to request me as a connection on LinkedIn.  Of course, I accepted the invitation and immediately emailed him to tell him the story about how I'd been trying to get in touch with him.  We went round and round, I told him a bit about me, and ultimately he thought that I could add value to his social group and he invited me to a party with he and a few colleagues that get together once a month or two.  This is where the bridge came between online social networking and traditional networking.  I reluctantly accepted the invitation to the party, because I would have kicked myself for months if I had passed (Note: I didn't say that I accepted, because I was so elated that the contact I'd been trying to make for months actually invited me to a party).  On the evening of the party, I drank about six cups of coffee, got pumped up, picked up a gift for the host, and made the long drive through LA traffic.  All the while I was thinking of ways that I could turn around and not show up, but still be able to live with myself.  The traffic was so bad that I considered using that as my excuse, but as an LA resident on my way to meet a bunch of LA residents, that would be a pretty lame excuse.  I finally made it, and despite being late and a newcomer everyone was really great!  From the minute I arrived I didn't feel out of place at all.  I didn't even feel like I was small-talking.  I just so happened to find myself in a group of like-minded individuals who all saw the value in meeting new people and helping each other out.  It was amazing! The work that I had put into finding a valuable target to pursue in building my network had actually paid off.  I drove home after the event, so happy to have met a bunch of potential candidates for Careers Without Limits for Educators, but even happier that I overcame my old "Gun slinger" habit.

I realize that I got a little lucky in this scenario, but I still believe there are four important lessons here:

1) Target the right people in your online social networking and have quality conversations.  This doesn't mean being someone you're not, just be sure to be relevant. 

2) Try to get beyond email.  Email is great, but it isn't very human and any really valuable relationship will need to go beyond the keyboard. 

3) Seize opportunities and good fortune when it comes.  Opportunities like the one I was presented with don't come along every day, so you absolutely have to take advantage of them. 

4) If you're doing the right things (ie. actively seeking out a solid professional network, both online and traditional), good things will happen.  Don't get comfortable and complacent!  There are opportunities out there, you just have to find them and seize them.

Stay tuned for Part Two of Making the Most of Social Networking, where I will describe in detail the steps that you can take NOW to begin building a valuable professional network.